A lot of sex is focussed on the actual act of sex and using the mouth, but a good hand-job by both a man and a woman is worth its weight in gold.

What are the benefits?

Sounds weird, but one great thing about using hands only is that you don't need to get naked - great if you're body conscious or aren't somewhere where that would be, ahem, appropriate. It's also very safe, so you don't need any condoms and you can be far more adventurous with where you do it than with normal sex.

For him

OK, so if you're not confident using your hands the main thing to do is relax and listen to him. He'll guide you and after a while you'll be able to listen to his moans for encouragement.

• Get slippery: Use your own saliva or get hold of some lube to make it that bit more exciting. A dry hand-job is fine, but it feels a whole lot better when wet.
• Get in rhythm: Start off slow and build up the speed slowly - a bit like actual sex. If you start too fast, he won't be as sensitive to your touch and will also get a bit sore.
• Use both hands: You need to be comfortable so you can get both hands involved. Hold him steady with one hand and then slide up and down with the other, closing gently as you reach the head.
• Twist and turn: The key to giving him a great time is to change your movement. As you reach the head of his penis, twist your hand. Alternatively, use both hands and move up and down with different parts of each hand touching different parts of him. Trust us, he'll enjoy it.

For her

Women aren't as confident about telling their fella how to touch them - so our message is if you want to really enjoy a bit of manual stimulation give some directions. Here are some tips in case you're struggling for what to tell him.

• Don't strip: Get him to rub you through your jeans or through your knickers. You'll get turned on the same and then it'll feel even more amazing when your underwear does finally come off.
• Slow down: One thing you may need to tell your fella is to put the brakes on. It's often a bit of a race for them to reach the finish, so some calm, reassuring words asking them to go at half-speed should heighten your enjoyment and make the whole experience last much longer.
• Don't stop: If he's really doing something that is sending you to sexual heaven, make sure he doesn't change the technique. You'll lose the moment and won't be happy and will just get annoyed with him.
• Do the work for him: You can tell him as much as you want, but let's face it, you know how it feels, so if his fingers are in the right place make sure you grind up against them. That way, he won't spend ages finding the exactly the right position and you get to be in control.